Lifes Epanded Problems.

Well, yesterday marks another bad change for me in which I stopped to pet a cute pair of shiatsu dogs that this lady had with her both on leashes. I could not resist the opportunity to pet both of her dogs because I am a big animal lover but the dire consequences of interacting with her dogs is that one of them must have some kind of sickness that is now shredding my body with strange very painful health problems which include going after my arteries and it feels like devastating them in my body. I seem to have the worst luck in the last 5 weeks with getting strange viruses from my stay in the hospital that have made me very sick and now yesterday with this women's dogs. To add insult to all of it today some nice person bought me a hot chocolate and gave it to me then after drinking it I feel like some virus was in the hot chocolate from who ever improperly handled it at the counter so now I feel some strange viral infection go to my bottom base of my spine. The last three weeks have and are the worst days of my life that I have ever experienced in 44 years of life. I have never been this sick ever in all my life with so many bad health problems in a months time frame which really scares me and worries me a lot. I worry my friends that even though I have taken many steps to eliminate the possible causes for all the health problems nothing seems to get rid of being reinfecting myself and get rid of all of them permanently. I must be doing something wrong because they start to go away and then I get them all back again as it appears to be the case for me. I watched CNN NEWS this morning in which they found some strange Asian virus that has killed 53 people and it makes me wonder about the viruses that are effecting me wherever they came from originally. The problem with these viruses I have are that they don't officially medically exist on earth in human medicine books and 3 hospitals have told me I have nothing that everything tests negative repeated each hospital 4 time or more. I have gone to 3 hospitals trying to get rid of these virus infections but after being tested for everything A to Z I still have to deal with my brain and body being ripped apart by 3 unknown I think infections or more at the same time. The hospitals tell me that these viruses don't exist and their is nothing more they can do to help me so I am really stuck with them. I feel that either I got them from the dog kennel I recently visited or they came from my hospital stay inpatient in which I was there for 5 weeks plus CERTAINLY the dog that I petted and the hot chocolate cup of liquid today those are all combined to make me feel like a constant struggle to live another day on earth.. In 5 weeks time I have gone from good health entering a hospital to fix a urinary tract infection feeling like I am possibly losing my life because I feel so horrible inside today. I feel like I have screwed up my living gift so much accidentally, badly and wrongly that I am uncertain about where I am going from this day except to thank God for another day of life on earth. I have gone to 3 hospitals seeking help for my problems in which they used all the modern gadgets that test everything and blood tests that look for everything and cat scan my entire body,EKG,MRI and injected me with radioactive stuff and dyes for imaging only to find nothing wrong with me according to them. I am beside myself with the health problems I have and the mistakes, I have made however, I have made them but the reality is I still love living to the maximum and to me living is everything to me with a great passionate emphasis on it. In the whole of it living means everything to me that I have all my life a living wish to live to age 150 but today I very sadly have to admit I AM REALLY NOT SURE IF i AM GOING TO LIVE MANY MORE YEARS UNFORTUNATELY WHICH MAKES ME SAD AND MAD AT MYSELF. This SUCKS what has happened to me!!!!!!!! I just want my friends to know what is going on in my daily life.. I would give everything on earth to have my good health back and my good quality of life which I have lost this year. I guess somehow I am reckless with my life even though I am a fanatic about washing my hands and body with being ultra careful what and who I touch all the time if I think it is going to cause me any kind of sickness or problem I stay away from it. Yet these things happen to me and I suffer greatly from all the hidden accidental mistakes that I have made in my life recently and all my lifetime included. This just really sucks how I sit here feeling like my life is ending and I can not do anything to stop it because there is no cure for the viral infections I have in my body.... I am sitting here feeling like I am stuck with no way out of these growing problems where I remain living with good health. The only entity that knows what these viruses are about is God and I sit here feeling like they are deliberately meant for me to receive them to wreck my life. I sit here just hoping my life continues as it is what my passion is all about called living and I don't want or need to have anything else on earth!!!! To all my friends have a really blessed day and peace to all of you.. SMILES!! I have had to quit doing everything that I love because my body is such a messed up unit, school,work,friends,church and much more which I don't want to do.